poppop
Well-Known Member
h there's nothing to it,Painless,Be over it in no time,Walk in the park.Talked to the doc nuthin to it.After a month of hearing this,Here i go.Sitting in the waiting room,See a guy come out walking a lil like john wayne,Nurse patting him on the back the wife meets him and out the door slowly they go.Just them the nurse calls my name.I look at my wife and say,One eyed willie never gonna be the same.She gives me a lil slap on the tail saying your gonna be fine Look at all you been through!Yea hell i can handle it!Bike wrecks car wrecks chainsaw thru my left paw,Just about broke everything but ol willie.Shit ive even pulled my teeth with a lil pair of vice grips i call painless.Im good,So back i go.Into the room of dread,The nurse assures me nothing to fear,Pat's me on the back and says here he is,Smiles and closes the door,Here's a nother nurse,She sais hi and good morning.She asked did you shave?I rubbed my chin and started to say yes,She looked and said i didn't mean your face.I was then instructed to go behind the lil curtin remove all clothing put on this lil night shirt thing,Upon my return i was to lay down on this bedlike thing that had a paper sheet on it,The nurse started talking about her recent trip to new york.Flipped up my night shirt And lathered up Fred and frank,Willies low hangin buddies.looked down at willie,He didn't look a damn bit happy.Doc walkes in Good morning,Every body's in a great mood,All but us four One eyed willie me frank and fred.Look over on the table there lay's 6 needles,Aint none of them damn things little,Doc askes nurse how she liked new york.That was the conservation that lasted the whole time i was there.He grabbed a needle,WHAM frank's hit I holler doc assures me this will be over in no time numbing medicene.Here comes another!Fred's down.Im in agony. Ten fifteen minutes they bs New york this and that,Doc rolls the stool over here come the nurse with a lil table covered with all kinds of shit.To work he goes he snips i sq uwall! He looks up says still feel it uh.He says ill fix it ,Two more needels.Damn im dyeing,Soaked in sweat,To late to turn back.Doc looked and sais you are still hurtin,Off come the last two needles.I finally said doc are you giving me a vasectomy or a castration?Hell just tape cherry bombs to em and light em,He gigles and keeps a pluggin.In a few minutes i start feeling like my gut's are being pulled out.I ask doc are you trying to start a weed eater down there?He repiled im done,I say thank god,He replies with one.About a half hour later He is finally finished.He lets me get dressed,Tells me not to pick up anything heaver that a gallon of milk.Im thinking yea big tuff shit.Im gonna go home!Put a dress on my ass.John wayne is leaving!On the way home wife sais your wet.Yea i know i reply,Willie frank and fred are dead!She replied Your tuff!Not anymore baby i said.We got home and there was a car hanging out of the garage justa little to far to get the door shut.I told the wife im gonna just nudge it in.She repiled you remember what the doc said about straining!jut nudge it in and sit down,So i did it and sat.Fred and frank turned into the grapefruit bros!Into the house a bag of ice on fred and frank,Went to bed woke up sore but ok,Wasn't meant to be.Down below the house they were llaying a new sewer line and had hit rock,Out came the dynamite BOOM!!!I came outta the chair the house rattled.I yelled what the hell was that.Back came the grapefruit bros.Damn what a memory,Wife sais im gettin old ,I said yea i know,Im going thru menapause.Get me some mydol.
