Chuck Norris Facts

[adambweird]

As the title states, post your Chuck Norris facts here. Ya'll know one or two, share it! This should be a fun one to watch!

There is no such thing as global warming, Chuck Norris was cold so he turned up the sun.

 

[blaxmax]

I saw Bill Wallace beat the hell at of him and no recognition for it----Superior Athlete. Fastest foot ever.
I trained at Jun Chong's in Los angeles and my sister has a dojo in Torrance Ca.

 

[Traumahawk]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, unfortunately he's never cried.

 

[caseyjones955]

When Chuck jumps into the lake, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck.

 

[blaxmax]

lmao

 

[adambweird]

There once was a street named after Chuck Norris... it had to be renamed because NOBODY crosses Chuck Norris...

 

[Traumahawk]

I like these

 

[adambweird]

My phones not letting me post pics or id have a BUNCH of memes to blast the thread with, lol.


Chuck Norris once won American Idol... using only sign language...

 

[The Beekeeper]

Chuck has to always keep a light on, not because Chucks afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Chuck.

 

[asherc]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Redbone]

There is no chin behind chuck Norris' beard, only another fist!

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

 

[scuff]

When Chuck Norris does push ups the earth moves

 

[vanbry]

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars...that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then the grenade exploded.

Chuck Norris is so intimidating even his reflection won't look back at him.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

 

[tothemax93]

Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.


A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.

Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.