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jedi-

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2008
Messages
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Location
Auckland NZ
The Ad says / What it really means


1 The fork seals might need replacing soon.....................................................The seals piss oil everywhere.

2 The carbs might need cleaning.................................................................The carbs are phuked, I tried to get them apart, all the jets are rounded off with screwdriver marks and used pliers to remove the rest.

3 This bike has never fallen over..................................................................The bike has fallen over.

4 There is a slight oil leak..............................................................................This thing pisses out more oil than the Exxon Valdez

5 Bike was running fine when I parked it up 5 years ago..................................It was parked up because it stopped running then so there's no chance it will start now.

6 Bike has a new battery....................................................................................The stator is fried. I don't know why the battery keeps going flat so I bought a new one.

7 Just needs a little TLC.........................................................................................Needs a complete restore.

8 Engine has been rebuilt...................................................................................I washed the outside of it and replaced the plugs.

9 There are a couple of minor chips in the paint..................................................The paint isn't sticking properly to the bondo.

10 Buyer must pick up...............................................................................After I have your money in my account I don't give a shit anymore , it's your problem and I'll most likely be out when you have driven 11 hours to collect it.

11 This bike turns heads..................................................................................That's because it blows so much smoke people turn the other way and cover their noses.

12 This bike is loud..........................................................................................There' s a hole in the exhaust.

13 Rear tire will need replacing soon.......................................................................I have been doing burnouts.

14 "Salvage title" .................................................................................................The bike is stolen.

15 Bike is stored in a heated garage......................................................................It will be when you see it and then it's going outside again after you leave.

16 This bike always gets attention............................................................People gather in groups wondering WTF is that hideous POS on two wheels.
 
17 "Under book value"......Even I couldn't ask book for this pos.
18 "Price goes up in the spring".....I'm assuming warmer weather will help it start.
19 "Bike won't last long at this price"............More true than they intend.
20 "Classic/Collector's bike"..........It needs $2000 of work to be worth $1500. But it's old, so therefore automatically worth a lot of money.
21 "Been in storage".............Been sitting out behind my barn
22 "Runs"..................Half a sentence. Rest is "poorly" or "with the choke on" or "on starting fluid"
23 "Must see".............I hope if you see the bike, you'll realize my stratospheric asking price is actually a really good deal.
24 "A slight rattle in the exhaust".......Engine has only miles to live. Rods knock like the UPS man.
25 "Must sell asap"........I'm behind on my child support.
26 "Good Project"................Bad Investment
 
Threads like this pop up everywhere. I think I'm going to make a winter project out of making a site where you can copy/paste a for sale ad and have it auto-filter to worst case scenario lol.
 

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