so i rode the dragon again..

Discussion in 'VBoost Room' started by mattness, May 1, 2010.

Help Support VMAX Motorcycle Forum by donating:

Tags:
  1. May 1, 2010 #1

    mattness

    mattness

    mattness

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,324
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    indiana
    saw a bear, that was cool. i wanted to get closer but couldnt see where the mama bear was, LOL

    for anyone whos never been to the dragon, its a curvy road in the mountains, you damn near have to scrape your pegs at every turn going 25 mph, youll have some serious turning "confidence" for a few days until it wears off.

    sadly, we got bit on the way back to our hotel room... well my friend did. between cherokee and gatlinburg he hit a gravel patch mid turn at around 25-30 mph and his front wheel slipped out from under him and slammed him on the ground. he got some minor road rash and so did the bike, it only slid about 10 feet at most. i was shocked. we were being hooligans all day... then just cruising back he wrecks right in front of me on a turn that wasnt even that tight!! it was unbelievable.

    we ended up getting the worst hotel on pigeon forge for 30 bucks a night, we thought that was the cheapest it was gonna get... we rolled down the road and found some for 25, with pools, jaccuzis, car ports to park your stuff, etc...

    the lady promised us wi fi at the help desk, that was a damn lie! we asked her to reset the router because it was available but was giving us errors and she didnt know what a router was. we decided to leave her alone, her accent was so bad we could barely understand her, and why she wore an eye patch was beyond me. come to think of it, we saw quite a few people on our trip with eye patches. anyways, we left the cleaning lady 1 dollar and two gummy worms for tip. and we know she pooped in our room before we got back because we could smell it and some of the TP was used. anyways, total deal breaker, red carpet inn sucked.

    our original plan was to go all backroads to tennessee but we had to end up going interstate, we were heading south to kentucky and then ate at a mcdonalds, the lady that took out order was kind of snobby so i peed in the trash can, anyways, we somehow got turned around after this mcdonalds stop and ended up an hour north east into ohio??? so we said F it and went to the interstate. but we still had fun, some kid chased us down the street after his bus dropped him off and he yelled SWEET BIKES!!! then we came up to a stop light and it felt awkward because the kid was just standing there... and we were just sitting there... and he was just standing there.... it was odd... anyways,

    so we're out in the country and for some reason he keeps almost getting hit by birds??? it got so bad after one attack that i had to lead, my animal attacker of choice was much more innocent, i kept dodging butterflies.. anyways, ya he damn near got hit in the face by a giant buzzard, i think its wing span was as wide as our bikes were long... it went straight at him from the side and did one thunderous wing clap at his face to stop itself in the air, he said he felt the wind off of it. freakin crazy man. anyways,

    so we're on the interstate and we were feeling good, but damn did my ass hurt, and i mean bad, and i dont know if this happens to anyone else... but my ass sweats bad. we were at a gas station and a guy walked by and was like, whys ur ass wet??? and i was like.. i have to poop. i knew i should have brought the butt pillow but my friend talked me out of it. :(

    we went 80 miles without stopping in one stretch and my butt hurt so bad my eyes were tearing up because my legs were numb and shit. i have two huge saddle sores on my upper upper inner thighs right below my butt cheeks. if i squeeze my butt together it forms a full moon. i showed my friend in the room after i got out of the shower the next morning LOLOLOL he didnt laugh like i did. anyways,

    so we're on this interstate and we pass a group of like 9 cars by slicing in between them and working our way through on the outer lanes like we're racing and randomly a chevy tahoe takes off after us honking, why he flipped us off i have no idea but he was like screaming at us through his window damn his face was red, i thought he was choking at first then i realized he was just pissed off, we let him by us because i dont have health insurance atm because i quit my job at walmart this week too. but that doesnt matter either because they didnt give me health insurance,
    anyways, every time we saw a hot girl wed point at our chest and pull our jacket collar down to get them to flash us, it never worked.. this time..

    however i did win the semi truck honking game where you pull down your arm twice and yell into the headset as loud as you can... TOOT TOOOOOTT
    to get them to honk, 13 to 8 my lead.

    so we ate at this pizza hut on the way back in kentucky and the lady saw us come in on bikes and she came over to our table and talked to us for a min about our bikes, she said she liked my harley and she said i prolly rode in the front so i didnt have to smell the rice burning, lol it was great. she ended up giving us 2 dollars off of the buffet because she was shutting it down and she let us fill up to go boxes with whatever we wanted off the buffet, which reminds me ima eat some right now! anyways, she was super cool and charged us for a 2 liter instead of two individual drinks to save us a couple more bucks. since they were nice i peed in the sink instead of the usual trash can. i hate peeing in the urinals because my shoes are black and people see the splashes and laugh at me and the toilets are always too low and it feels uncomfortable to me. anyways,

    we saw a couple elk too, and a parrot in a car next to the elk, the crazy lady even got it out for us so we could hold it and take pictures. she was kinda crazy though so we didnt trust her. animal lovers are always kinda weird. as we're photogoraphing the parrot the girl elk got kinda close and the crazy lady turned around and yelled HEAR GIRL ((kiss noises kiss noises)) and it scared the shit out of it. i was honestly very scared we were gonna get trampled. which reminds me for now on to always leave an escape route when theres crazy people around. anyways,

    we saw a semi truck completely flipped on its side on an on ramp i mean it was perpendicular to the road, how it pulled that off in a 45 mph zone is beyond me. we had to go by it twice because we stopped up the road to put baby powder on his neck and my butt and he didnt even see it??? i was like dude wtf?? and hes like dude srsly? and im like dude ya... so we saw it again, oh btw he was getting rashes on his neck because his helmets padding was too robust and was rubbing him raw. anyways,

    so we were sitting at a light in pigeon forge and its like 5 lanes wide in some spots and it had 2 green arrows for people to turn left, well when the two green arrows turned he wasnt paying attention and took off, he was like 2 feet from getting pwned by several lanes of cars... he was like omg and i was like lol

    anyways, it was mini cooper weekend at the dragon and to be honest the people that drove those were a little weird, i think they were kinda weird.. you know..... anyways i bet they thought they were hot stuff until that porsche went up the hill lighting his tires the whole way..

    anyways, we're at one of the scenic overlooks and a guy recognizes my bike and he runs over to talk to me like as im rdy to pull out... hes like dude!! what year is it??? and then he talked about how bad he wanted one but he already had harley tattoos and i was like its ok ur still cool and he asked me if it was a scary ride and i was like ya its a lot of fun, and hes like dude, you be careful and i mean that for real!!! and then he did the international burn out spin with his fingers so i decided for this one guy... id deliver... he had his pack of harley fan boys behind him so i dumped the throttle but it bogged like crazy and i wondered if it was gonna die. damn i had to look retarded. we were pretty high above sea level so im sure thats what it was.

    5 bucks says that guy never buys a vmax now...

    anyways, we got up in time to catch mcdonalds breakfast yesterday morning in kentucky and it was honestly a terrible experience. im surprised we ate it. everyone was deformed???? if thats the word// ... people had hunch backs and droopy eyes and just werent all there.... and again, the accents were so bad we could hardly understand them and im not trying to be mean but its the truth. i was filling up my cup at the drink fountain and it was about half full i wasnt there but maybe 5 seconds and an employee lady said EXCCUUUUSSEEE MEEEEE!!!!??? and i backed up a couple steps and was like wtf?? she put something under the cabinet under the fountain thing and just walked away... i mean there was noone else in a 20 foot radius why couldnt she just wait for me to fill my cup and walk away... but people acted weird here too one woman filled her cup up and drank it with two hands without walking back to her seat first... maybe its just me and im not used to the culture but it was just all phucked up. and almost everyone walked with a limp.. and everyone seemed rude to me, im from indiana but it was more of a culture shock than tennessee was, damn.

    anyways, im going back to the dragon again here in a couple months if anyone else is going maybe we can meet up at the dragon, oh btw my max is for sale too if you have anyone looking for one, it has 16k miles on it, ive put 3k on in not even 2 months

    im the one rockin the pimp hat and my friend has black hair. anyways it was ironic because right before he wrecked he was talking about how much he liked bikes and how he was gonna ride forever. he broke his visorlens thing and banged up his brand new helmet, ripped his brand new jacket all up the sleeve, and ripped up his pants in several spots too. i actually saw his face as he was looking at me and sliding lol i thought i lost him but i have a sense of humor about everything but if he died i wouldnt ride anymore. everyone was mad at me for bringing him here to the dragon and hes only been riding for 3 weeks.

    so anyways we got out of our hotel room yesterday morning and i saw spider webs all over my bike but i couldnt find the spider and rode it anyway, so we go about 25 miles and decide to stop and rest my butt and i saw the spider droop down from the left rear turn signal in a little ball. i went to go poke at it with my foot but it spazzed out and landed on the pipe with its tentacles wide open and omg.. it instantly let go of its web and rolled back into a ball and rolled all the way down the hot pipe... im pretty sure he died. i felt empowered. and let this be a lesson to all who oppose the vmax legend muahahahahaahaa

    anyways, so we're walking down pigeon forge at midnight to find a buffet but like everything is closed or closing, i mean they should make an unwritten law in that area that if youre closed youre gonna turn your lights off because walking there sucks. oh btw if you r walking by cvs dont be scared of the raccoons like me because they wont jump on you, they run under you. how do i know this? its simple.. i saw something move out of the corner of my eye and i thought it was a cat but i realized it was FLIPPING huge and it was a coon running full throttle straight at me, and right before it got me it ran into a pipe below my feet where i was walking. and how it fit in the pipe was beyond me because it was srsly phat. it was as big around as your vmaxes rear tire i shit you not. it was half man, half bear, half coon. it roams the earth alone.

    so we went into cvs and bought some wound care product to fix up his road rash and everything in there was expensive it kinda sucked. this is where we got the gummy bears to feed the mexican house keeping lady. she only knew one word of english, and how do we know this??? its simple, we tried talking to her.. she squeeks rlly quietly ... "housekeeping" like a chipmunk from alvins crew. she was pretty cool though we think she lives in one of the rooms up there we tried knocking on her door to see if she wanted to party with us and look at the bear pictures for a minute but she just opened her blinds very discretely so we wouldnt notice but i did notice because its easy to see when its dark outside and you turn your light off real fast i mean cmon lady we're not dumb we know ur in there... anyways she peeked one eye at us and shut the back piece of the blind very slowly so we wouldnt notice her spying on us. we realized she was too weird to hang out with.. shes prolly seen a bear anyway,

    edit: ok im not adding anymore because people are getting upset. to the mods -- if im making the vmax community look bad just delete the whole post plz
     

    Attached Files:

  2. May 1, 2010 #2

    FREERIDER

    FREERIDER

    FREERIDER

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2009
    Messages:
    349
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego CA
    Hotels on the back roads are hit n miss. There is one spot I end up sleeping most of the time on my drive threw Texas, theres, the middle eastern nasty on the way, or the "biker friendly" spot a few miles down the other way. Well the "biker friendly", white run motel is so much better. Clean, WiFi that works, and sheets without nasty stains on them.
    Ive stayed in both.
    And Ive NEVER seen any 30$ or less anight motels. You do get what you pay for sometimes.
     
  3. May 1, 2010 #3

    Nicki66

    Nicki66

    Nicki66

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2008
    Messages:
    582
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Port St Lucie, FL.
    If you dont like urinal's why don't you give a toilet a try instead of using a sink or garbage can. That is F***ing gross.
    No wonder bikers get a bad name. Grow up!!
     
  4. May 1, 2010 #4

    mattness

    mattness

    mattness

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,324
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    indiana
    oh come on man live a little it feels great you only live once, its a huge rush knowing you can get caught at any moment. besides its not like im wiping my ass on the wall lol. and i only do it at places that disrespect me
     
  5. May 1, 2010 #5

    mattness

    mattness

    mattness

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,324
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    indiana
    i think one thing driving the prices down right now is its not vacation time yet, i bet its double in june or july
     
  6. May 1, 2010 #6

    EvilD

    EvilD

    EvilD

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2008
    Messages:
    1,213
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tonawanda
    OMG, too funny, I am never ever hanging out with you thou.
     
  7. May 1, 2010 #7

    mattness

    mattness

    mattness

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,324
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    indiana
    i think im going back on the last week of june if anyone else is going this year maybe we can meet up
     
  8. May 2, 2010 #8

    Jdk203

    Jdk203

    Jdk203

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2009
    Messages:
    261
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Burlington, NJ
    Interesting story all in all sounds like it was a good time. Not sure about the peeing in sinks part :ummm: you prolly could have left that detail out. Ill think twice next time I wash my hands in public :biglaugh:
     
  9. May 2, 2010 #9

    shorthair88

    shorthair88

    shorthair88

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2008
    Messages:
    218
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    mn
    I slayed the dragon about 5 yrs ago, would love to do it again, P.S. don't drink while your posting about your trip next time. damn interesting! but Odd???
     
  10. May 2, 2010 #10

    2stangs69-91

    2stangs69-91

    2stangs69-91

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2007
    Messages:
    557
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Redding Ca
    lol sounds like a interesting trip ,nice pics. The non english speaking maid probably still wont come out of her room..:biglaugh:
     
  11. May 2, 2010 #11

    FREERIDER

    FREERIDER

    FREERIDER

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2009
    Messages:
    349
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego CA
    Ok, so when I first responded to this I didnt read the whole thing, beer inhibits eye sight on computer screens.

    :ummm:

    Man where do I start?:ummm:
    Pissing the trash can cause the lady was rude to you? Was this can in the dinning area or the bathroom? If it was in the dinning area then that would of been funny, but the bathroom is just amateur.

    If you want to party with the help you need to roll correct. You need a bottle of Patron (good Tequila that can be found anywhere in the country) and some Corona's. Not bear pics.:rofl_200: And if your feeling bold you can say, "quanto costa panocha?":clapping:

    The only time it seemed EVERYONE was staring and weird to me was when I was on LSD. But really its just me tripping nuts.:biglaugh:

    As for your Iron Butt training, just keep it up and dont compare your chapped ass to your buddys chapped neck. Just paints a bad picture.
    Not hating, just laughing with you.
    But really its a good motorcycle adventure story. Good for you. I look forward to my next one.

    P.S. Study up on Hunter S Thompson, he'll guide you through you next trip.
     
  12. May 3, 2010 #12

    mattness

    mattness

    mattness

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,324
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    indiana
    oh and im going back in july too if anyone wants to meet up in that one, and no i wont pee in ur room's trash can. however i will show you bear pics...
     
  13. May 4, 2010 #13

    Nicki66

    Nicki66

    Nicki66

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2008
    Messages:
    582
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Port St Lucie, FL.
    I hate bears!!
     
  14. May 5, 2010 #14

    Rayvin53

    Rayvin53

    Rayvin53

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2008
    Messages:
    385
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Connecticut
    Thanks, that was quite an interesting read, man, although I did half expect it to be a joke by the end--but no, it was a real friggin' post, including pissing in the sink! You must've scared the crap outta the poor cleaning woman, though. Oh yeah, and I'll be looking closely at any public sinks I use from now on...
     
  15. May 7, 2010 #15

    88Vmax

    88Vmax

    88Vmax

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2010
    Messages:
    61
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Highland Heights, Ky
    This story is to good to be true. infact id like for it to be a short movie. and whatever your on makes the story that much better. thanks for the laugh lol
    Were doing the dragon trip in the end of july or beginging of august. 3 day cruise from cinci ohio all the way down and back. supposed to be a 638 mile round trip. sorry id invite you but the guys im going with wouldnt understand todays humor.
     
  16. Jul 16, 2010 #16

    mattness

    mattness

    mattness

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,324
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    indiana
    ok guys im officially going August 13-14-15

    13 were heading there in the evening and stay the night at the kickstand lodghe or whatever the dragon hotel is,

    the 14th, saturday, were riding it like crazy, staying a 2nd night at the hotel

    then the 15th were gonna ride it some more, and head out prolly late afternoon/early evening
     
  17. Jul 16, 2010 #17

    mattness

    mattness

    mattness

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,324
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    indiana
    and i reassure you, that original post is 100% real
     
  18. Jul 16, 2010 #18

    naughtyG

    naughtyG

    naughtyG

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2008
    Messages:
    6,437
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Freo, Western Australia
    Hahaha a lot of funny stuff, wtf were you on? I did the dragon last year and would love to go again.

    And WTF was the deal with that parrot!!?
     
  19. Jul 17, 2010 #19

    mattness

    mattness

    mattness

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,324
    Likes Received:
    22
    Location:
    indiana
    mntn dew phucks me up.

    lol the parrot was in a car and this crazy lady kept wanting to get it out so we could take pictures. the dialogue went kinda like this

    her: hey let me get my parrot out and you can take some pictures!
    me: nah im ok.. just uhh.. checking out this wild moose..
    (random pissed off redneck lady): ITS AN ELK, HELLOOOO!!!!!!
    her: cmon ima gettin it out now..
    me: no lady really its ok, were packing back up to go(as im walking backwards away from her)
    her: here he is!!! (she puts it in her hand and half chases me with it to my bike)
    at this point the parrot is really freaking out so she sets in on her car door.. it was trying to fly but she also told me it had its wings clipped.
    then she did the guilt trip thing on me
    her: hes showing off flapping for you and you dont wanna take his picture :(
    me: oh i alrdy took a few and my sd card is full.. so i gotta go now..
    her: oh we can wait for you to change cards...
    me: i got some good ones thank you..

    /gone

    im never pulling over again

    anyways were thinking sept 3-4-5 instead cuz my gf cant make it in august, however she gave me the green flag to go solo with my friend again.. so... okay!!


    sept 3rd is my 21st BIRTHDAY!!!
     
  20. Jul 17, 2010 #20

    Max1139

    Max1139

    Max1139

    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    83
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Longview
    :rofl_200:true 'dat brother!!

    nothing like a well written adventure post!!:rofl_200:
     

Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page

arrow_white