Todays Joke

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Buster Hymen

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After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife
who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed
wearing a long flowing white robe.

"Who the hell are you?", demanded Brian,"and what are you doing in my
bedroom?"

The mysterious man answered, "This isn't your bedroom, and I'm St
Peter".

Brian was stunned. "You mean I'm dead? That can't be, I have so much
to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to
send me back straight away."
St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated, but there is a
catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his
house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he
was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This
ain't so bad," he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up
inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen.
How are you enjoying your first day here?

"It's not so bad," replied Brian, "but I have this strange feeling
inside like I'm about to explode."

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've
never laid an egg before."

Never," replied Brian.

"Well, just relax and let it happen." And so he did, and after a few
uncomfortable seconds later, an egg popped out from under his tail. An
immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the
better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was
overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that
had happened to him... ever!!!

The joy kept coming, and as he was just about to lay his third egg,
he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting,

"Brian! Wake up, you drunk bastard, you're shitting the bed."
 
I seriously just laughed out loud, im about to shit my pants myself :rofl_200:

gotta tell this to the dudes i work with, PRICELESS
 
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