I saw this on another site as an ebay item, supposedly the guy had a $60K(!!!) 'buy it now' price on it. You have to read the ad copy, this guy is probably under prosecution for 'lack of truth in advertising,' 'gross misuse of hyperbole,' or 'most bastardized Yamaha.' Anyway, it's pretty-funny.
DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER RIDING THIS CHOPPER IF YOU ARE A BEGINNER RIDER.....I'M SERIOUS. THIS BIKE IS FOR ADVANCED, EXPERIENCED, LEVEL HEADED RIDERS WHO KNOW HOW TO RIDE. IF THIS STATEMENT SCARES YOU, FIND ANOTHER BIKE! NO QUESTIONS ASKED. IF AN ANGEL CAME TO EARTH DISGUISED AS A MOTORCYCLE THIS WOULD BE HER. IF YOUR GRANDPA TOOK NOTES FOR 100 YEARS THEN TOOK A GLIMPSE INTO THE FUTURE AND BUILT A BIKE, THIS WOULD BE IT.
DO NOT RIDE THIS BIKE IF YOU DON'T LIKE ATTENTION. YOU WILL BE STARED AT EVERY TIME YOU STOP AT AN INTERSECTION. YOU WILL BE WAVED TO BY EVERY CAR YOU PASS ON THE FREEWAY. YOU WILL BE FOLLOWED AND ASKED QUESTIONS. YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE TO WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH A SMALL CROWD TO GET TO YOUR BIKE AT EVERY BAR YOU'VE STOPPED AT. YOU WILL BE RESPECTED IN ANY CROWD, CHOPPERS, CROTCH ROCKETS, GARAGE BIKES, SCOOTERS AND ESPECIALLY LITTLE KIDS YOU PASS ON THE STREET WHO DREAM OF RIDING ONE DAY AND POINT AND YELL WHEN THEY SEE YOU ON YOUR BIKE AND WHEN YOU WAVE BACK SMILE THE BIGGEST GRINS YOU'VE EVER SEEN. THIS BIKE IS OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD. YOU'RE NEIGHBORS WILL HATE YOU.
EVERY TIME YOU START THIS BIKE IT WILL PUT A BIGGER GRIN ON YOUR FACE THAN YOU HAVE EVER HAD. YOU WILL RIDE UP A CANYON ALONE ON A COOL SUNDAY MORNING AND YOU WILL CRY. YOU WILL RIDE IN A GROUP OF RIDERS AND YOU WILL CRY. EVERYONE WILL THINK IT IS FROM THE WIND BUT YOU AND I WILL KNOW THE TRUTH. EVERY TIME YOU RIDE THIS BIKE YOU WILL FEEL EXACTLY LIKE THE MOMENT YOU TOOK THE TRAINING WHEELS OFF YOUR BIKE AND....RODE. THIS BIKE WILL BEAT YOU. IT WILL TAME AND HUMBLE YOUR COCKY, IGNORANT, SELFISH ATTITUDE AND RESURRECT YOU AS A DECENT HUMAN BEING.
THIS BIKE WILL BRING YOU FEELINGS OF LONELINESS DEEPER THAN YOU HAVE EVER FELT. THIS BIKE WILL BRING YOU FEELINGS OF PURPOSE GREATER THAN YOU HAVE EVER FELT. YOU WILL HATE THIS BIKE, YOU WILL ALWAYS LOVE IT. YOU WILL NEVER FORGET MOMENTS SPENT ON IT.
THIS BIKES BONES ARE A PAINTED RED AND CHOPPED SUZUKI FRAME. I DID NOT BUILD IT BUT HOPE TO ONE DAY FIND AND THANK THE TALENTED HAND OF A GOD THAT DID AND ONLY HOPE THAT SOMEWHERE THAT CRAFTSMAN HAS FOOD ON HIS TABLE AND IS GETTING THE RESPECT HE DESERVES. HER HEART IS A 1978 YAMAHA 750 THAT HAS BEEN REBUILT MORE THAN ONCE. THE STARTER IS A BOLT OF LIGHTNING THROWN BY ZEUS. THERES A KICK START TOO. THE TANK GETS ABOUT AN HOUR OF RIDIN THEN ITS TIME FOR A FILL UP. YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO LEARN THE BOUNDARIES SO IF YOU GO ON A LONGER RIDE YOU'LL REMEMBER TO CARRY AN EXTRA GALLON OR TWO ALONG. THE HEADLIGHT IS BRIGHT AND LIGHTS UP THE 3 A.M. ROAD LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN FLYIN DOWN THE TRACKS. THE RUBBER'S GOOD BUT LIKE ALL GIRLS SHE WOULD BE REALLY HAPPY ABOUT SOME NEW SHOES. THE BRAKES ARE FINE. THERES SOME MINI CABLES IN THE BAG AND A CHARGING PORT FOR THE BATTERY SO WHEN YOU FORGET ABOUT THE GPS AND LEAVE IT ON YOU CAN JUMP OFF ANOTHER BIKE OR CHARGE IT OFF A CAR FOR A BIT, I'VE DONE BOTH AND IT WORKS FINE. DETACHABLE GARMIN QUEST GPS GIVES YOU YOUR SPEED AND MAPS TOO AND CHARGES WHILE RIDING AND SOMETIMES WORKS GREAT AND SOMETIMES LIKES TO POWER ITSELF OFF. I'VE SEEN SEATS THAT LOOK LIKE THIS AND FEEL LIKE THE WEIGHT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD IS PUSHING DOWN ON YOU BUT FOR SOME REASON THIS ONE IS COMFORTABLE, PROBABLY BECAUSE THE SMART DUDE WHO BUILT HER USED SOME HI-TEC FOAM INSTEAD OF THE USUAL CHEAP STUFF. SHE LOVES AND NEEDS A LOT OF THROTTLE ALL THE TIME, IN BETWEEN SHIFTS, SITTING AT A STOP LIGHT, LEAVING THE GAS STATION, LEAVING A STOP LIGHT, SLOWING DOWN THEN TURNING, COMING OFF THE FREEWAY, YOU ARE ALWAYS ROARING UP AND DOWN ON THE THROTTLE. IF SHE DOES CUT OUT AFTER YOU STOP, A LIGHT TOUCH TO THE STARTER BUTTON AND A TWIST OF THE THROTTLE ROARS HER RIGHT BACK, BUT THAT'S NO SURPRISE TO ANY ONE WHO KNOWS HOW GOOD OLD MOTORCYCLE ENGINES RUN. YOU'LL ALSO NOTICE THE EXHAUST WHICH COULD BENEFIT FROM AN UPDATED BLACK POWDER COAT...OR NOT, YOU DECIDE. YOU'LL WONDER IF THE EXHAUST GETS YOUR FOOT HOT, IT DOESN'T. YOU'LL NOTICE THE EXHAUST WILL RUB IF YOU TURN TOO SHARP OR RIDE LIKE A DIPSH*T. HER HEART IS STRONG BUT SHE WOULD REALLY LIKE A NEW ONE SOME DAY. YOU KNOW SHES' A 750 AND THE SHAFT DRIVE MAKES HER ROCKET OFF THE LINE OR GET YOU UP TO ABOUT 85 MPH WHEN YOU NEED HER TO BUT MOST THE TIME CRUISIN YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF IN THE FAR RIGHT HAND LANE GOING ABOUT 60 AND LETTING EVERYONE ELSE PASS YOU BY...IT JUST HAPPENS. SHE HAS ONE MIRROR TO REMIND YOU OF WHATS BEHIND BUT YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO LOOK BACK. MILEAGE IS UNKNOWN. TITLED IN 2006. WHEEL BASE IS 69 INCHES. FRIENDS FROM 5'5" TO 6'5" HAVE RIDDEN AND BEEN COMFORTABLE.
THIS ISN'T THE FIRST BIKE I'VE HAD AND HOPEFULLY WON'T BE MY LAST. MAYBE NOW'S A GOOD TIME FOR A NEW OWNER, MAYBE I'VE STILL GOT MORE TO LEARN... IF ALL THIS SEEMS LIKE IT MAKES A LITTLE SENSE TO YOU THEN CONGRATULATIONS, SEND ME AN EMAIL, MAYBE WE CAN FIGURE A PRICE OUT AND THEN YOU CAN SEND IT IN AS A "MAKE OFFER" AND I'LL ACCEPT IT TO MAKE IT OFFICIAL. I'LL TRY TO KEEP ANYONE WATCHING THE SALE OR OTHER INTERESTED PARTIES UP TO DATE....PS. DEAR IGNORANT DUSCHEBAGS WHO KEEP SENDING ME EMAILS TELLING ME HOW STUPID I AM...I'M NOT TRYING TO SELL THIS BIKE, BY KEEPING THE BUY IT NOW PRICE UP, THE AD STAYS ON EBAY A LONG TIME. I'VE GOT TONS OF EMAILS FROM RIDERS WHO WANT THIS BIKE. I'M CONSIDERING OFFERS. YES I HAVE MY PRICE AND YES IT IS BELOW WHATEVER THE "BUY IT NOW" PRICE MAY SAY. NOTICE THE 21 DAY AUCTION...AND AFTER THIS ONE THERE WILL PROBABLY BE ANOTHER ONE...THERE NOW DONT YOU FEEL SMART? PROBABLY THE LAST TIME YOU FELT SMART SINCE KINDERGARTEN. PLEASE GET A JOB OR FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO BESIDES WATCHING DAY TIME TV ALL DAY AND PLEASE STAY OFF THE ROAD SO REAL RIDERS DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU OUT THERE ON A BIKE....
DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER RIDING THIS CHOPPER IF YOU ARE A BEGINNER RIDER.....I'M SERIOUS. THIS BIKE IS FOR ADVANCED, EXPERIENCED, LEVEL HEADED RIDERS WHO KNOW HOW TO RIDE. IF THIS STATEMENT SCARES YOU, FIND ANOTHER BIKE! NO QUESTIONS ASKED. IF AN ANGEL CAME TO EARTH DISGUISED AS A MOTORCYCLE THIS WOULD BE HER. IF YOUR GRANDPA TOOK NOTES FOR 100 YEARS THEN TOOK A GLIMPSE INTO THE FUTURE AND BUILT A BIKE, THIS WOULD BE IT.
DO NOT RIDE THIS BIKE IF YOU DON'T LIKE ATTENTION. YOU WILL BE STARED AT EVERY TIME YOU STOP AT AN INTERSECTION. YOU WILL BE WAVED TO BY EVERY CAR YOU PASS ON THE FREEWAY. YOU WILL BE FOLLOWED AND ASKED QUESTIONS. YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE TO WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH A SMALL CROWD TO GET TO YOUR BIKE AT EVERY BAR YOU'VE STOPPED AT. YOU WILL BE RESPECTED IN ANY CROWD, CHOPPERS, CROTCH ROCKETS, GARAGE BIKES, SCOOTERS AND ESPECIALLY LITTLE KIDS YOU PASS ON THE STREET WHO DREAM OF RIDING ONE DAY AND POINT AND YELL WHEN THEY SEE YOU ON YOUR BIKE AND WHEN YOU WAVE BACK SMILE THE BIGGEST GRINS YOU'VE EVER SEEN. THIS BIKE IS OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD. YOU'RE NEIGHBORS WILL HATE YOU.
EVERY TIME YOU START THIS BIKE IT WILL PUT A BIGGER GRIN ON YOUR FACE THAN YOU HAVE EVER HAD. YOU WILL RIDE UP A CANYON ALONE ON A COOL SUNDAY MORNING AND YOU WILL CRY. YOU WILL RIDE IN A GROUP OF RIDERS AND YOU WILL CRY. EVERYONE WILL THINK IT IS FROM THE WIND BUT YOU AND I WILL KNOW THE TRUTH. EVERY TIME YOU RIDE THIS BIKE YOU WILL FEEL EXACTLY LIKE THE MOMENT YOU TOOK THE TRAINING WHEELS OFF YOUR BIKE AND....RODE. THIS BIKE WILL BEAT YOU. IT WILL TAME AND HUMBLE YOUR COCKY, IGNORANT, SELFISH ATTITUDE AND RESURRECT YOU AS A DECENT HUMAN BEING.
THIS BIKE WILL BRING YOU FEELINGS OF LONELINESS DEEPER THAN YOU HAVE EVER FELT. THIS BIKE WILL BRING YOU FEELINGS OF PURPOSE GREATER THAN YOU HAVE EVER FELT. YOU WILL HATE THIS BIKE, YOU WILL ALWAYS LOVE IT. YOU WILL NEVER FORGET MOMENTS SPENT ON IT.
THIS BIKES BONES ARE A PAINTED RED AND CHOPPED SUZUKI FRAME. I DID NOT BUILD IT BUT HOPE TO ONE DAY FIND AND THANK THE TALENTED HAND OF A GOD THAT DID AND ONLY HOPE THAT SOMEWHERE THAT CRAFTSMAN HAS FOOD ON HIS TABLE AND IS GETTING THE RESPECT HE DESERVES. HER HEART IS A 1978 YAMAHA 750 THAT HAS BEEN REBUILT MORE THAN ONCE. THE STARTER IS A BOLT OF LIGHTNING THROWN BY ZEUS. THERES A KICK START TOO. THE TANK GETS ABOUT AN HOUR OF RIDIN THEN ITS TIME FOR A FILL UP. YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO LEARN THE BOUNDARIES SO IF YOU GO ON A LONGER RIDE YOU'LL REMEMBER TO CARRY AN EXTRA GALLON OR TWO ALONG. THE HEADLIGHT IS BRIGHT AND LIGHTS UP THE 3 A.M. ROAD LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN FLYIN DOWN THE TRACKS. THE RUBBER'S GOOD BUT LIKE ALL GIRLS SHE WOULD BE REALLY HAPPY ABOUT SOME NEW SHOES. THE BRAKES ARE FINE. THERES SOME MINI CABLES IN THE BAG AND A CHARGING PORT FOR THE BATTERY SO WHEN YOU FORGET ABOUT THE GPS AND LEAVE IT ON YOU CAN JUMP OFF ANOTHER BIKE OR CHARGE IT OFF A CAR FOR A BIT, I'VE DONE BOTH AND IT WORKS FINE. DETACHABLE GARMIN QUEST GPS GIVES YOU YOUR SPEED AND MAPS TOO AND CHARGES WHILE RIDING AND SOMETIMES WORKS GREAT AND SOMETIMES LIKES TO POWER ITSELF OFF. I'VE SEEN SEATS THAT LOOK LIKE THIS AND FEEL LIKE THE WEIGHT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD IS PUSHING DOWN ON YOU BUT FOR SOME REASON THIS ONE IS COMFORTABLE, PROBABLY BECAUSE THE SMART DUDE WHO BUILT HER USED SOME HI-TEC FOAM INSTEAD OF THE USUAL CHEAP STUFF. SHE LOVES AND NEEDS A LOT OF THROTTLE ALL THE TIME, IN BETWEEN SHIFTS, SITTING AT A STOP LIGHT, LEAVING THE GAS STATION, LEAVING A STOP LIGHT, SLOWING DOWN THEN TURNING, COMING OFF THE FREEWAY, YOU ARE ALWAYS ROARING UP AND DOWN ON THE THROTTLE. IF SHE DOES CUT OUT AFTER YOU STOP, A LIGHT TOUCH TO THE STARTER BUTTON AND A TWIST OF THE THROTTLE ROARS HER RIGHT BACK, BUT THAT'S NO SURPRISE TO ANY ONE WHO KNOWS HOW GOOD OLD MOTORCYCLE ENGINES RUN. YOU'LL ALSO NOTICE THE EXHAUST WHICH COULD BENEFIT FROM AN UPDATED BLACK POWDER COAT...OR NOT, YOU DECIDE. YOU'LL WONDER IF THE EXHAUST GETS YOUR FOOT HOT, IT DOESN'T. YOU'LL NOTICE THE EXHAUST WILL RUB IF YOU TURN TOO SHARP OR RIDE LIKE A DIPSH*T. HER HEART IS STRONG BUT SHE WOULD REALLY LIKE A NEW ONE SOME DAY. YOU KNOW SHES' A 750 AND THE SHAFT DRIVE MAKES HER ROCKET OFF THE LINE OR GET YOU UP TO ABOUT 85 MPH WHEN YOU NEED HER TO BUT MOST THE TIME CRUISIN YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF IN THE FAR RIGHT HAND LANE GOING ABOUT 60 AND LETTING EVERYONE ELSE PASS YOU BY...IT JUST HAPPENS. SHE HAS ONE MIRROR TO REMIND YOU OF WHATS BEHIND BUT YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO LOOK BACK. MILEAGE IS UNKNOWN. TITLED IN 2006. WHEEL BASE IS 69 INCHES. FRIENDS FROM 5'5" TO 6'5" HAVE RIDDEN AND BEEN COMFORTABLE.
THIS ISN'T THE FIRST BIKE I'VE HAD AND HOPEFULLY WON'T BE MY LAST. MAYBE NOW'S A GOOD TIME FOR A NEW OWNER, MAYBE I'VE STILL GOT MORE TO LEARN... IF ALL THIS SEEMS LIKE IT MAKES A LITTLE SENSE TO YOU THEN CONGRATULATIONS, SEND ME AN EMAIL, MAYBE WE CAN FIGURE A PRICE OUT AND THEN YOU CAN SEND IT IN AS A "MAKE OFFER" AND I'LL ACCEPT IT TO MAKE IT OFFICIAL. I'LL TRY TO KEEP ANYONE WATCHING THE SALE OR OTHER INTERESTED PARTIES UP TO DATE....PS. DEAR IGNORANT DUSCHEBAGS WHO KEEP SENDING ME EMAILS TELLING ME HOW STUPID I AM...I'M NOT TRYING TO SELL THIS BIKE, BY KEEPING THE BUY IT NOW PRICE UP, THE AD STAYS ON EBAY A LONG TIME. I'VE GOT TONS OF EMAILS FROM RIDERS WHO WANT THIS BIKE. I'M CONSIDERING OFFERS. YES I HAVE MY PRICE AND YES IT IS BELOW WHATEVER THE "BUY IT NOW" PRICE MAY SAY. NOTICE THE 21 DAY AUCTION...AND AFTER THIS ONE THERE WILL PROBABLY BE ANOTHER ONE...THERE NOW DONT YOU FEEL SMART? PROBABLY THE LAST TIME YOU FELT SMART SINCE KINDERGARTEN. PLEASE GET A JOB OR FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO BESIDES WATCHING DAY TIME TV ALL DAY AND PLEASE STAY OFF THE ROAD SO REAL RIDERS DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU OUT THERE ON A BIKE....
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