I saw this on another forum, and it's wacky-enough to be true. I am putting it here for you to read, just as it was written. The setup is, the guy was looking for deals online, locally, when he found something that sounded good-enough to follow-up. Take it from there, it's an interesting read:
So I was on facebook this morning and an ad popped up on one of my buy/sell trade groups. $30 killer deal, i'm on it. Wife , who has the hearing of a jackrabbit hears me typing and investigates.
She sees young chick's pic- it's facebook- and says she's going along, ok fine. We get there to a completely bare apt save for a couple clothes baskets, the toolbox and a headlight bulb sitting next to toolbox.
I go to pay the toolbox owner (young chick) and ask if the bulb goes with the box. No she says, her friend from work was supposed to come by and change it a couple days ago but didn't show. She goes on to tell us that she's leaving to move back to Iowa in the morning and needs it changed.
Wife: My man's a set-up guy, he does that stuff all the time. "Go change that"
So I'm being supervised by these two females for a couple minutes while I changed the bulb. Wife has me check the fluids too. Oil was barley touching the dipstick also needed PS fluid and anti-freeze. So I tell her-them.
Wife: "Well go get some!"
Me: "WTF"...to myself.
Leaving autozone, $28 later I get back to girl in tears and wife hugging her.
So I heard the story, she followed her man here after he got out of the Navy, he got physical with her after she busted him with her new friend, yes, sex. Young chick called the police after the beating. Cheating ex-boyfriend's a guest at the county hotel now. Anyhow wife has me check out the whole car.
Me to the young chick: Your left front tire has the belts showing through, you can't drive anywhere on this, you need a new one.
Young chick: I dont have the money! (crying)
Wife: Call your friend Red and ask him how much for a good used tire.
Me: Red ain't open today, it's Sunday.
Wife: Call him!!!
Me: Fine Ok...Hey Red..man can you help us out..need tire today...emergency ya know.
Red: FU..I don't work on Sunday.... period! ---
Wife takes phone from my hand and asks Red if he remembers his wife finding panties in back of his Suburban and blaming it on me. Assures him she knows the truth and I didn't go fishing that night, 'cause my daughter had an accident that night and I was at the hospital for 6 hrs.
Red: I dont care...
Wife hangs up, pulls out her own phone and calls Red's wife... Oh hi honey, can you ask Red if he can come change my niece's tire today? It's an emergency and he ain't answering his phone....pause...
Reds wife: Oh yea he said to tell you he's on his way.
So Red generously donated a good used tire on a Sunday.
Anyhow I'm trying to help, and while I'm kneeling checking the pressure on the tire after it's mounted I hear a deep rumbling sound. Trying to lighten the mood I ask "which one of you girls farted"? The girl said her stomach was rumbling.
My wife went on to tell me and Red that after her "Man" went to jail, his family went and cleaned out the entire apt. They took everything including the food. The only reason she had the toolbox was because it was in the trunk of her car.
Wife: That's ok honey, we're going out to eat after this and you can come along.
Me: Yea i'm starved, I could smash a double whopper right about now.
Wife: well you and Red have fun at BK, me and Maggie are going to Red lobster cause I want a cocktail. It's my day off, Give me your card!!
Me: WTF...to myself
Red: You think she's gonna tell?
Me: Shut up Red!!!
...............So there you are, factor in what I just spent at the drive-thru and the firewood they're burning up plus breakfast in the morning......guessing that toolbox is gonna be well over $200. :confused2:
YOUNG GUYS...don't get married!!!!! You will have days like this.
Trust me I left stuff out...Cheers, Bill.
The story kinda restores your faith in humanity, doesn't it? :rofl_200:
So I was on facebook this morning and an ad popped up on one of my buy/sell trade groups. $30 killer deal, i'm on it. Wife , who has the hearing of a jackrabbit hears me typing and investigates.
She sees young chick's pic- it's facebook- and says she's going along, ok fine. We get there to a completely bare apt save for a couple clothes baskets, the toolbox and a headlight bulb sitting next to toolbox.
I go to pay the toolbox owner (young chick) and ask if the bulb goes with the box. No she says, her friend from work was supposed to come by and change it a couple days ago but didn't show. She goes on to tell us that she's leaving to move back to Iowa in the morning and needs it changed.
Wife: My man's a set-up guy, he does that stuff all the time. "Go change that"
So I'm being supervised by these two females for a couple minutes while I changed the bulb. Wife has me check the fluids too. Oil was barley touching the dipstick also needed PS fluid and anti-freeze. So I tell her-them.
Wife: "Well go get some!"
Me: "WTF"...to myself.
Leaving autozone, $28 later I get back to girl in tears and wife hugging her.
So I heard the story, she followed her man here after he got out of the Navy, he got physical with her after she busted him with her new friend, yes, sex. Young chick called the police after the beating. Cheating ex-boyfriend's a guest at the county hotel now. Anyhow wife has me check out the whole car.
Me to the young chick: Your left front tire has the belts showing through, you can't drive anywhere on this, you need a new one.
Young chick: I dont have the money! (crying)
Wife: Call your friend Red and ask him how much for a good used tire.
Me: Red ain't open today, it's Sunday.
Wife: Call him!!!
Me: Fine Ok...Hey Red..man can you help us out..need tire today...emergency ya know.
Red: FU..I don't work on Sunday.... period! ---
Wife takes phone from my hand and asks Red if he remembers his wife finding panties in back of his Suburban and blaming it on me. Assures him she knows the truth and I didn't go fishing that night, 'cause my daughter had an accident that night and I was at the hospital for 6 hrs.
Red: I dont care...
Wife hangs up, pulls out her own phone and calls Red's wife... Oh hi honey, can you ask Red if he can come change my niece's tire today? It's an emergency and he ain't answering his phone....pause...
Reds wife: Oh yea he said to tell you he's on his way.
So Red generously donated a good used tire on a Sunday.
Anyhow I'm trying to help, and while I'm kneeling checking the pressure on the tire after it's mounted I hear a deep rumbling sound. Trying to lighten the mood I ask "which one of you girls farted"? The girl said her stomach was rumbling.
My wife went on to tell me and Red that after her "Man" went to jail, his family went and cleaned out the entire apt. They took everything including the food. The only reason she had the toolbox was because it was in the trunk of her car.
Wife: That's ok honey, we're going out to eat after this and you can come along.
Me: Yea i'm starved, I could smash a double whopper right about now.
Wife: well you and Red have fun at BK, me and Maggie are going to Red lobster cause I want a cocktail. It's my day off, Give me your card!!
Me: WTF...to myself
Red: You think she's gonna tell?
Me: Shut up Red!!!
...............So there you are, factor in what I just spent at the drive-thru and the firewood they're burning up plus breakfast in the morning......guessing that toolbox is gonna be well over $200. :confused2:
YOUNG GUYS...don't get married!!!!! You will have days like this.
Trust me I left stuff out...Cheers, Bill.
The story kinda restores your faith in humanity, doesn't it? :rofl_200:
