Forestdaledave and Lotsokids -- I don't know either of you and I really don't know what to say other than I wish there was something I could do to help. If either of you just need someone to shoot the shit with to take your mind off of the heavier things... I got a ton of jokes and stories. Or just need an ear that wont judge to say shit you can't say to friends... I can do that too.
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Traumahawk
Well-Known Member
Lotsofkids......I'm heading in from work. While dont we go out for a ride sometime, sometimes it helps just to get out and about.
Lotsokids
Well-Known Member
Hey y'all. I ask for your prayer / support the next few days.
My wife and I will be talking this week face to face about our future.
We will have 3 of our children here also for Christmas (my college son is here now).
The last 3 days have been extremely difficult for me. I'm on medication and I don't feel stable at all. Spontaneous crying. Meeting with the doctor tomorrow to check on changing the medication (antidepressant). I'm in very bad physical and emotional condition.
God is my Rock, and believe me, I've been paralyzed on my floor crying out to Him. And I know He notices His child suffering alone in the dark. I don't know why I'm on this horrible, dark path, which was not my choosing. Time will tell. 5 years ago tomorrow, a car crash nearly killed me, resulting in multiple skull fractures and PTSD. Now my wife of 30 years had an affair on top of that. Believe me, a nearly fatal car crash is MUCH, MUCH easier to handle than a heart that's ripped in half. The pain is so deep. I seriously wish I would have died in the car crash. Many others would probably have "cracked" by now.
Thanks for listening to my rant. Somewhat therapeutic to get it off my chest.
My wife and I will be talking this week face to face about our future.
We will have 3 of our children here also for Christmas (my college son is here now).
The last 3 days have been extremely difficult for me. I'm on medication and I don't feel stable at all. Spontaneous crying. Meeting with the doctor tomorrow to check on changing the medication (antidepressant). I'm in very bad physical and emotional condition.
God is my Rock, and believe me, I've been paralyzed on my floor crying out to Him. And I know He notices His child suffering alone in the dark. I don't know why I'm on this horrible, dark path, which was not my choosing. Time will tell. 5 years ago tomorrow, a car crash nearly killed me, resulting in multiple skull fractures and PTSD. Now my wife of 30 years had an affair on top of that. Believe me, a nearly fatal car crash is MUCH, MUCH easier to handle than a heart that's ripped in half. The pain is so deep. I seriously wish I would have died in the car crash. Many others would probably have "cracked" by now.
Thanks for listening to my rant. Somewhat therapeutic to get it off my chest.
derwood
Well-Known Member
Praying for you and your family
Bill Seward
Well-Known Member
I understand what your're going through. God really dumped a load on your plate, but He is the source of our strength. Don't give in to despair! I know you'll find the way through the pain - prayer is your way through the darkness, along with the friends you have here, and in your personal (face to face) life.
Do NOT give up! You were spared from dying in that crash for a reason.
Talk to her. If she's a religious person, pray for guidance with her. Your kids are going to be with you over the holidays - pray together.
You are all in my thoughts and my prayers.
Do NOT give up! You were spared from dying in that crash for a reason.
Talk to her. If she's a religious person, pray for guidance with her. Your kids are going to be with you over the holidays - pray together.
You are all in my thoughts and my prayers.
Traumahawk
Well-Known Member
Its always better to get it off your chest.
Sometimes anti-depressants can make things worse. Takes time find the right one and right dosage and switching meds can take months of transition time. Patience and time is the key. Easier said than done when you're going through what you are going through.
I'm not a man of faith, but I have spent many years searching so I've read a lot of religious texts. One that comes to mind right now is a prayer from a minister named Harry Emerson Fosdick:
"We confess before Thee that if life were all smooth, there would be no patience; were it all easy, no courage, no sacrifice, no depth of character. We acknowledge before Thee that what is most admirable is the child of adversity and of courageous souls unafraid to face it."
I read a book recently and there was a really remarkable man who wrote to another that was going through the possibility of a divorce and dealing with depression:
"Your wounded heart is a very beautiful heart. In fact, is has probably allowed you to understand the hearts of all others who are wounded. And whose isn't in some way? Some are just a little more obvious than others."
You have 3 kids that will need a mentor in life. Even if they are too young to know it or appreciate it. You've gone through hard times and you've made it this far - what better mentor for those kids to have than someone who has been in the ring with life's toughest opponents? You are their Rocky. Their Rock. Nurture courageous souls in them through YOUR courage. Your wounded heart will understand theirs when life wounds them. They will be all the richer because you've allowed them to walk in your inner garden.
If you haven't done it in a while, get out in nature. Go camping or hiking. Leave all the digital devices behind for a few days. Disconnect and just get out in nature. It's something that I find really helps me. 5 days ago I busted my lip from laughing maniacally with a .45 in my mouth. I took a day off I didn't have and spend Friday through Sunday camping in the Ozarks and reading. Nature is the best anti-depressant I've found so far.
"In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks." - John Muir.
Take it day to day, hour by hour if you have to -- you can get through this -- I KNOW you can.
I'm not a man of faith, but I have spent many years searching so I've read a lot of religious texts. One that comes to mind right now is a prayer from a minister named Harry Emerson Fosdick:
"We confess before Thee that if life were all smooth, there would be no patience; were it all easy, no courage, no sacrifice, no depth of character. We acknowledge before Thee that what is most admirable is the child of adversity and of courageous souls unafraid to face it."
I read a book recently and there was a really remarkable man who wrote to another that was going through the possibility of a divorce and dealing with depression:
"Your wounded heart is a very beautiful heart. In fact, is has probably allowed you to understand the hearts of all others who are wounded. And whose isn't in some way? Some are just a little more obvious than others."
You have 3 kids that will need a mentor in life. Even if they are too young to know it or appreciate it. You've gone through hard times and you've made it this far - what better mentor for those kids to have than someone who has been in the ring with life's toughest opponents? You are their Rocky. Their Rock. Nurture courageous souls in them through YOUR courage. Your wounded heart will understand theirs when life wounds them. They will be all the richer because you've allowed them to walk in your inner garden.
If you haven't done it in a while, get out in nature. Go camping or hiking. Leave all the digital devices behind for a few days. Disconnect and just get out in nature. It's something that I find really helps me. 5 days ago I busted my lip from laughing maniacally with a .45 in my mouth. I took a day off I didn't have and spend Friday through Sunday camping in the Ozarks and reading. Nature is the best anti-depressant I've found so far.
"In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks." - John Muir.
Take it day to day, hour by hour if you have to -- you can get through this -- I KNOW you can.
putin
Well-Known Member
Don't use meds and do not drive drunk!!! That happened to me - my wife after 25 years filed for divorce. Said she always hated me! I was caught DUI by police after i went to friend to ask for an advice. Now i am in a deep shit. You will need friends and your siblings to fight stress, not stupid doctors! Just realize that you screwed and call your parents. For me - it is still a mystery why women do some real shit. I am still fucking mad!
