Blessing or a Curse?

[Kronx]

It's hasn't even been 9 months since I got my Vmax and I am a full fledged addict to "the ride." The winter was a mean one but it didn't stop me from riding. I just added another layer of clothes.

I day dream all the time about riding with no specific destination. About taking roads less traveled to see where they may lead. With nothing but a duffle bag strapped to the back of the bike as my passenger. I dream of giving up the corporate IT life for an occupation of dirty hands and busted knuckles. I've never had these dreams before I bought the bike, but now I can't escape them.

Yet it will always be just that -- a dream. I have too may people who depend on me now. I provide their shelter and food and transportation. I provide encouragement and strategies to them for navigating life. It's so odd how I can be so incredibly optimistic and encouraging about their future while at the same time being so remarkably pessimistic and discouraging about mine. It's easier to help others than it is to help yourself I suppose. At least it is for me.

But why these dreams now? Is because of the bike? Or is it just coincidence that my motorcycle purchase has crossed a timeline with some age I've ticked on my odometer of life? Is this a philosophical check engine light that's come on now that I've hit 40(100k miles)? Or did I bury my dreams of individual freedom long ago for the sake of spouse and parental duty and the motorcycle has dug them up like a rear wheel spinning aggressively in the sand?

When I'm on the bike it feels like a blessing... when I'm off it it feels like a curse. I just want to ride.

 

[marsmax85]

All my kids are done with college and 2 of them are on their own .My youngest will live with us for a couple years and fly away soon !! My m/c dreams are finally coming to real light !! CAN'T WAIT TILL THUNDER ..

 

[vbober]

yup

 

[Miles Long]

It's hasn't even been 9 months since I got my Vmax and I am a full fledged addict to "the ride." The winter was a mean one but it didn't stop me from riding. I just added another layer of clothes.

I day dream all the time about riding with no specific destination. About taking roads less traveled to see where they may lead. With nothing but a duffle bag strapped to the back of the bike as my passenger. I dream of giving up the corporate IT life for an occupation of dirty hands and busted knuckles. I've never had these dreams before I bought the bike, but now I can't escape them.

Yet it will always be just that -- a dream. I have too may people who depend on me now. I provide their shelter and food and transportation. I provide encouragement and strategies to them for navigating life. It's so odd how I can be so incredibly optimistic and encouraging about their future while at the same time being so remarkably pessimistic and discouraging about mine. It's easier to help others than it is to help yourself I suppose. At least it is for me.

But why these dreams now? Is because of the bike? Or is it just coincidence that my motorcycle purchase has crossed a timeline with some age I've ticked on my odometer of life? Is this a philosophical check engine light that's come on now that I've hit 40(100k miles)? Or did I bury my dreams of individual freedom long ago for the sake of spouse and parental duty and the motorcycle has dug them up like a rear wheel spinning aggressively in the sand?

When I'm on the bike it feels like a blessing... when I'm off it it feels like a curse. I just want to ride.

Well written, Mr. Kronx. Also indicative of the trust, respect and brotherhood that exists on this forum. Anyone can "bare their soul", without fear of ridicule. Not true of most other forums!
My opinion - do not fear, life does go on, after 40!
You may not in fact have the freedom to lose yourself on your bike, at this time in your life, because you have got your priorities right- providing for your family is #1. All else takes a back seat.

Lots of folks never own a bike, only dream of it, during their young and middle-aged years. You have the advantage of still owning and enjoying a bike at 40 yrs. old - something even bike owners abandon when they start their families, buy their houses, put emphasis on their jobs, etc. I fit into this category. I owned and traveled extensively on bikes from age 16 to mid-20's, then gave the sport up for over 20 yrs. In retrospect, I missed out on a lot of fun. I could have kept motorcycling as part of my enjoyment, even if a secondary one.
Eventually, you will have more time at hand to devote to your bike. Kids get married and leave the nest, mortgages are burned, retirement happens.
Until then, keep on riding and enjoyng your bike!
Cheers!

 

[[email protected]]

The answers to your questions will be different depending on who you ask.

I would say that it is not the bike. The bike is a means to exercise your feelings.

I'm not sure what your honest, deep down feelings are so its hard to say if you a true to heart rider that wants to be out on the road but still envisions being surrounded by family or, if you want to escape it all.

If you are looking to escape there is a reason. That reason could be your job is too stressful or unfulfilling, issues with your marriage, issues with the kids, all of the above, or about 1000 other things.

If you are true to heart rider, you love the road and yearn to be out there but you are able to overcome that desire and know your #1 priority is to provide for and raise the family.

If you are able to quit your job, leave your family, and go at it alone on the road I honestly believe you are not following your dream, you are running away from your reality. There is a problem that needs fixed. Maybe its not one problem, maybe it is an army of smaller problems that have build up and it feels insurmountable to overcome.

 

[Rusty McNeil]

The "Ride" is a great dream.
Dreams of escapism are pretty normal even in the best of work and family situations. I love my job and I love my family and I still have them.

I think it's mostly driven by being firmly in the trace chains of being the "plow horse" that keeps the whole thing afloat and if I dropped dead a whole lot of people would be left adrift. (Life insurance of course, but you get the point)

Pressures of responsibility bear heavy when you look around and count the number of people depending on you to "do what you do"

I'd say what's needed, if it was me, is a solitary "mind clearing" vacation. I used to do it every year, going down to Big Bend NP and spending a week by myself (You can spend days there and not even SEE another soul if you stay off the beaten path) to blow out the day to day worries and re-assess and reevaluate things, usually coming back with a fresh appreciation of the things that are GOOD in my life just as it is, and realizing those fantasies are just that because as a responsible adult with people to take care of abandoning those responsibilities to chase a dream would mean abandoning the concept of "being a man of my word"

Or to say it differently,
"When there is only one choice, then it's the right choice"

 

[Traumahawk]

To me a "dream" is something that gets put off...something that will never happen. So work on bikes....or take a trip during your off time. You dont have to completely give up your present life....but do allow yourself to get your motorcycle "fix" everyso often.

Life is all about balance. If ANY one thing is over riding anything else....you will feel out of balance.

 

[Kronx]

Thanks for the responses gentlemen. I will never walk away from responsibility. It's not in my DNA. I've passed up several promotions and relationships because they required me to move away from my kids(I'm divorced). That simply isn't an option for me and I have no regrets about that.

I spend a lot of time in introspect. Perhaps too much time(see I just did it). I see the flaws of my nature. I try to remedy them as best I can. It has proven itself a challenge to fix issues of the mind when I'm not in the right frame of mind in the first place.