I dont feel ofended or angry - Im just distased with behavior like this.
So, i'm not surprised by your distaste of this aspect of behavior. it has taken my in-laws ten years to finally not be so egotistical about it. i don't know if you've been to the States, but I've had the pleasure of visiting Europe on many occasions. As much as I'd like to discuss the differences in more detail, the nuances, even though some are more slight than others, have such huge ramifications with respect to mindset and behavior that I fear we could spend years (and many beers) trying to come to terms. But based on my rather limited experience, I think it is safe to say the following:
Granted each European country vastly differs culturally from each other, as well as each American State greatly differs culturally in the same respect, but generally speaking, there is a European attitude that is more face-to-face, more dependent on social-interaction than compared to us Americans’. This rather broad and stereotypical observation is the basis of my method of trying to explain how, the general American, views buying goods and services.
Whereas even with modern industrial price regulation practices, because of the more face-to-face, more dependent on social-interaction of the European community, “Going to market” is still
not just about purchasing and selling, but still is part of being social--akin to going to a bar, or town square and discussing the weather, the family, sports, cars, food, oil, war, politics. etc. With the introduction of fixed pricing, volume stock, etc, as previously mentioned, Americans just don't haggle, or bargain. Sure, there are situations and circumstances in which this is not true, like when buying cars, houses, “garage sales” (where a private individual sells his junk to neighbors), but not for the everyday things that are sold in retail stores where it usually can be found cheaper. As such, Americans no longer view “going to market" nowadays like it once was, where the townsfolk gathered to exchange ideas, plot and schemed, etc, etc. "The market” nowadays is just a place to buy stuff where the vendor is just a vendor and not a person to care about or will affect my daily life.
And this is an essential difference,
"Leaving is a tacit way of ending the sale before it began" as being rude here - because You can waste someones time - and for us time is most valuable factor"
the whole haggling process is viewed as a waste of valuable time and just asking how much something is, is not an indication of intent to purchase, but rather just a curious question like "why is that car parked there?", "what are you doing tomorrow?", "how much does that cost?". generally speaking again, an american vendor knows that if the person is truly interested, (s)he will return, otherwise there will always be another potential client. most americans don't really "sell" in the truest definition anymore, they just offer goods at a price, if that makes sense. they aren't going to expend energy trying to entice the fish that nibbled the bait onto the hook. but rather drink a beer or three while waiting for the fish or even another fish to wrap its mouth around the hook--there is no fear that no fish will bite, because the pond is full of hungry fish.
“Going to market” in the States has become so impersonal, that there are stores where we no longer interact with another human to pay for goods but rather with a computer. Some car dealerships even entice some Americans with no-haggle pricing because haggling has now become a hassle and a waste of time. Overseas, “fixed-price” stores are popping up to cater to the American tourist and his preference of just buying and not interacting. We hate being harassed by a sales person because we view them as trying to sell stuff that we don’t want or need and forget the fact the we must be interested in their wares by virtue of stepping in the store and who better would know of the products then the person selling the crap. But because we no longer view buying stuff in a social manner, managers are no longer staffing their stores with knowledgeable sales representatives, but rather with people that know how to scan in the product’s bar code and read off of a computer screen—if you have technical question, they simply point you to Google.
So hopefully this helps you understand why some Americans will ask how much something is and then just walk away never to be heard of again. Us Americans are generally very courteous—some more than others—some more than others in some situations, some less than others in other situation. it’s just when it comes to buying stuff, we Americans are just buying stuff and just think more of the product than of the vendor. I’m not saying that this is a hard, fast rule; but rather a bunch of random observations that makeup the complex. Neither am I saying one view is any better than the other. I enjoy both sides. I enjoy that in the middle of the night I can go to a American store and buy medicine or whatever because the store is manned by a computer that doesn’t need sleep. I enjoy talking to a European vendor who will tell me where his product came from, or how it was made, or why he is selling it, or telling him how much it is worth without insulting him.
So to answer your question:
is it normal? no, not really.
is it to be expected? no definitely not.
is it to be accepted? kind of, it depends.
unk:
